You know, women can just never win. We're taught from a young age to be "nice" above all. To be caring. To be courteous. Girls are more likely to raise their hands in class and wait to be called on--we're just taught to be nice, and to be polite--to be "ladies." And then when some self-entitled a-hole decides to stalk you...
(click the title above to view the whole post from WebSleuths)
Wednesday, March 9, 2011
Missing Live Chats Revealed
Thanks to Internet Evidence Finder v4 I was able to extract the following 'Facebook Chat' conversations between Travis and I.
*************************************************************
1/7/2011 15:27 Travis Levi Taylor Good Morning Lexie!!
1/7/2011 15:28 Elexis Hennigh pretty good
1/7/2011 15:29 Travis Levi Taylor ;)
1/7/2011 15:30 Travis Levi Taylor Have you ever bought a lottery ticket, and had to look twice at it when they called the number?
1/7/2011 15:31 Travis Levi Taylor When you want something really bad, your eyes can play tricks on you.
1/7/2011 15:31 Elexis Hennigh lol yeah
1/7/2011 15:32 Travis Levi Taylor So. If I may ask a bold question...
1/7/2011 15:32 Elexis Hennigh ...
1/7/2011 15:32 Travis Levi Taylor am I the first man you've asked out to dinner?
1/7/2011 15:33 Elexis Hennigh what do you mean? you asked me. I'm just finally saying yes. LOL
1/7/2011 15:34 Travis Levi Taylor What did you think of the haiku?
1/7/2011 15:36 Travis Levi Taylor I do like to drive fast, you know
1/7/2011 15:36 Elexis Hennigh ah that explains it then...lol
1/7/2011 15:37 Elexis Hennigh i guess I better get up and get ready for work
1/7/2011 15:37 Travis Levi Taylor I've got to get some chinchilla food, too.
1/7/2011 15:37 Travis Levi Taylor May I call you later?
1/7/2011 15:38 Elexis Hennigh sure...I've got a lot to do today though. I have to pack to leave for LA Sunday morning :)
1/7/2011 15:41 Elexis Hennigh I'm sure we can figure something out. Maybe lunch...I might drive to my moms saturday night so she can drive me to the airport for the red eye
1/7/2011 15:42 Travis Levi Taylor Excellent! I look forward to talking with you tonight!!!
1/7/2011 15:43 Elexis Hennigh later dude!
*****************************************************************
2/9/2011 23:36 Travis Levi Taylor Good Evening Lexie...
2/9/2011 23:36 Elexis Hennigh hi
2/9/2011 23:36 Travis Levi Taylor How are you?
2/9/2011 23:36 Elexis Hennigh great
2/9/2011 23:37 Travis Levi Taylor How's the weather in Stillwater? Assuming you're in Stillwater...
2/9/2011 23:37 Elexis Hennigh aren't you?
2/9/2011 23:37 Travis Levi Taylor Nope.
2/9/2011 23:37 Elexis Hennigh y?
2/9/2011 23:37 Travis Levi Taylor Well...
2/9/2011 23:38 Travis Levi Taylor I kept getting mixed signals from OSU.
2/9/2011 23:38 Travis Levi Taylor I'm in... then I'm out. I'm in... then I'm out.
2/9/2011 23:38 Elexis Hennigh hm
2/9/2011 23:38 Travis Levi Taylor And it freaked me out.
2/9/2011 23:39 Travis Levi Taylor There's no way they know I half-assed my ACT. But they sure act like they know it! heheheh
2/9/2011 23:40 Travis Levi Taylor A lot of people tell me that I don't need to go to college.
2/9/2011 23:40 Travis Levi Taylor I disagree. I really think I need to.
2/9/2011 23:40 Travis Levi Taylor You're educated. What do you think?
2/9/2011 23:41 Elexis Hennigh I don't know...I never regret that I went for 7 years.
2/9/2011 23:42 Travis Levi Taylor Not all with OSU, though, right?
2/9/2011 23:42 Elexis Hennigh right
2/9/2011 23:42 Travis Levi Taylor Obviously, OSU's your favourite, though.
2/9/2011 23:43 Elexis Hennigh compared to what
2/9/2011 23:43 Travis Levi Taylor wherever else you went
2/9/2011 23:43 Elexis Hennigh that was a masters program...not the same.
2/9/2011 23:43 Travis Levi Taylor I seem to recall it was Texas A&M, but I don't remember for sure.
2/9/2011 23:43 Elexis Hennigh West Tx AM
2/9/2011 23:44 Elexis Hennigh mostly distance education courses
2/9/2011 23:44 Travis Levi Taylor I took some college when I was in the Navy.
2/9/2011 23:44 Travis Levi Taylor distance education?
2/9/2011 23:44 Elexis Hennigh online or mail in
2/9/2011 23:45 Travis Levi Taylor If only all of life was so convenient!
2/9/2011 23:45 Travis Levi Taylor Why did you stop teaching? I'm totally sure you are an excellent teacher.
2/9/2011 23:45 Elexis Hennigh not enough money
2/9/2011 23:46 Travis Levi Taylor I thought I would like to be an archaeologist. But it doesn't pay for itself, either. PhD's making 40k a year doesn't seem right.
2/9/2011 23:47 Travis Levi Taylor How did you get into computers?
2/9/2011 23:48 Elexis Hennigh long story
2/9/2011 23:48 Travis Levi Taylor haha... every time I hear "long story" I get curious.
2/9/2011 23:48 Travis Levi Taylor I used to know a thing or two about computers...
2/9/2011 23:49 Travis Levi Taylor Back in the 90's.
2/9/2011 23:49 Travis Levi Taylor I did something to a computer network...
2/9/2011 23:49 Travis Levi Taylor that cost the government a whole lot of money.
2/9/2011 23:50 Travis Levi Taylor And I was very, very careful about it.
2/9/2011 23:50 Travis Levi Taylor And I didn't tell a soul, either.
2/9/2011 23:50 Travis Levi Taylor But I liked it. And then one day...
2/9/2011 23:50 Travis Levi Taylor I was sitting in art class.
2/9/2011 23:51 Travis Levi Taylor And an acquaintance... not a close friend by any stretch of the imagination... comes and sits down next to me...
2/9/2011 23:51 Travis Levi Taylor and out of the blue says, "Have you seen Sneakers?" I was like, "Huh?"
2/9/2011 23:51 Travis Levi Taylor Have you seen that movie, Lexie?
2/9/2011 23:53 Elexis Hennigh sry trav you freaked me out...can't sit here and make small talk...i gotta go...
2/9/2011 23:53 Travis Levi Taylor I was just asking so you would know what I was thinking when he asked me that.
2/9/2011 23:54 Elexis Hennigh sry...i'm seeing someone and you made it clear that you were not interested in just friends...so...i feel weird pretending things are the same.
2/9/2011 23:55 Travis Levi Taylor What do you mean the same?
2/9/2011 23:56 Elexis Hennigh pretending that we are still good friends from high school...things are different now
2/9/2011 23:57 Travis Levi Taylor When you wanted to have dinner, is that all you wanted? To catch up with an old friend from High School?
2/9/2011 23:58 Elexis Hennigh yes.
2/9/2011 23:59 Travis Levi Taylor What I was trying to make clear (in the friend request I just sent you) was I don't "wanna" be friends.
2/9/2011 23:59 Travis Levi Taylor But maybe you didn't read that mssg until after we started this chat.
2/10/2011 0:00 Elexis Hennigh haven't read it at all yet...didn't notice a message.
2/10/2011 0:02 Elexis Hennigh and apparently I can't see it now
2/10/2011 0:02 Travis Levi Taylor I thought those things go into the mssg inbox?
2/10/2011 0:02 Travis Levi Taylor I can tell you what I said.
2/10/2011 0:03 Travis Levi Taylor It's a simple request... but it's not a very honest one. I don't wanna be friends. or something like that.
2/10/2011 0:04 Elexis Hennigh what
2/10/2011 0:04 Elexis Hennigh you sent me a friend request that said I don't want to be friends
2/10/2011 0:04 Elexis Hennigh ?
2/10/2011 0:04 Travis Levi Taylor I can see how that might be confusing.
2/10/2011 0:05 Elexis Hennigh once I accept the friend request it goes away and i can't get it back. If you meant to send a message send a 'message'.
2/10/2011 0:05 Travis Levi Taylor I tried that several minutes ago...
2/10/2011 0:06 Elexis Hennigh and if I accept the request from my phone I definitely don't see the attached message
2/10/2011 0:06 Travis Levi Taylor and the computer restarted while I was typing it. I honestly have no idea why.
2/10/2011 0:06 Elexis Hennigh it doesn't matter then does it. If you don't want to be friends that srsly what!
2/10/2011 0:06 Elexis Hennigh that=then
2/10/2011 0:08 Travis Levi Taylor You had it kinda right, before. Why I assumed you read the message.
2/10/2011 0:08 Travis Levi Taylor We could be friends.
2/10/2011 0:08 Travis Levi Taylor But I wouldn't be a good friend if I wasn't honest with you.
2/10/2011 0:09 Travis Levi Taylor But if you already know I'm nothing more than friend material, then that is that.
2/10/2011 0:10 Elexis Hennigh I am not looking for anyone else. I found him.
2/10/2011 0:13 Travis Levi Taylor I'm truly happy for you. Just out of curiosity... is it the same man you were sorta seeing back in December?
2/10/2011 0:13 Elexis Hennigh no
2/10/2011 0:13 Elexis Hennigh its someone that I've known for about 15 years...
2/10/2011 0:14 Travis Levi Taylor Wow.
2/10/2011 0:14 Travis Levi Taylor What took him so long??
2/10/2011 0:15 Elexis Hennigh lost touch
2/10/2011 0:15 Elexis Hennigh had no idea where each other were
2/10/2011 0:15 Travis Levi Taylor People can change a lot in 15 years.
2/10/2011 0:16 Travis Levi Taylor So, has he already asked you to marry him?
2/10/2011 0:16 Elexis Hennigh thanks for the encouragement
2/10/2011 0:17 Travis Levi Taylor encouragement?
2/10/2011 0:17 Elexis Hennigh sarcasm
2/10/2011 0:17 Travis Levi Taylor ah! haha... I love sarcasm.
2/10/2011 0:17 Travis Levi Taylor Easier to detect face to face, of course.
2/10/2011 0:18 Travis Levi Taylor If you were referring to my question as to whether or not he's already asked you to marry him, I'm sure he will.
2/10/2011 0:19 Elexis Hennigh no i was referring to your snide comment about how people change suggesting that we may not know eachother anymore.
2/10/2011 0:19 Travis Levi Taylor That's not what I meant.
2/10/2011 0:19 Elexis Hennigh right.
2/10/2011 0:19 Travis Levi Taylor Really.
2/10/2011 0:19 Travis Levi Taylor I was just thinking...
2/10/2011 0:19 Travis Levi Taylor you knew him for 15 years
2/10/2011 0:20 Travis Levi Taylor and I was curious when you knew he was the one.
2/10/2011 0:24 Elexis Hennigh When? Why does that matter? How? I've got that...I know he is the one because he can reach through the walls I've built.
2/10/2011 0:26 Travis Levi Taylor that's extraordinary
2/10/2011 0:26 Elexis Hennigh yep
2/10/2011 0:27 Travis Levi Taylor heheheh
2/10/2011 0:27 Travis Levi Taylor Out of morbid curiosity...
2/10/2011 0:27 Elexis Hennigh i don't feel you're sincere
2/10/2011 0:27 Travis Levi Taylor I have to ask...
2/10/2011 0:27 Travis Levi Taylor I was laughing in advance of the question I was about to ask you.
2/10/2011 0:28 Travis Levi Taylor I'm sincere.
2/10/2011 0:29 Travis Levi Taylor I'm still curious about how much snow you got in Stillwater...
2/10/2011 0:30 Elexis Hennigh you're right that is a funny and morbid question! how dare you!
2/10/2011 0:30 Travis Levi Taylor haha
2/10/2011 0:30 Travis Levi Taylor That's a different question than the one I was going to ask before.
2/10/2011 0:30 Travis Levi Taylor I just wanted to get back to that.
2/10/2011 0:31 Travis Levi Taylor I'm sorry I wasn't clear before.
2/10/2011 0:31 Travis Levi Taylor About dinner.
2/10/2011 0:31 Travis Levi Taylor I wanted to have dinner with you to see if we could be more than friends.
2/10/2011 0:33 Travis Levi Taylor I thought you knew that... since I only heard back from you once.
2/10/2011 0:33 Travis Levi Taylor And you told me you were sorta seeing someone. And you let me down very nicely... as you did before.
2/10/2011 0:33 Travis Levi Taylor You said it wasn't good timing.
2/10/2011 0:34 Travis Levi Taylor I thought you were just trying to be nice.
2/10/2011 0:34 Elexis Hennigh most guys don't appreciate their girl going to dinner with a new guy out of the blue no matter who they are...
2/10/2011 0:34 Travis Levi Taylor And when you asked me to dinner, I thought you wanted to see me for dinner for the same reasons I wanted to see you for dinner.
2/10/2011 0:35 Elexis Hennigh I just wanted to get out of the house. I thought it would be nice. Then you spun out of control with expectations. My dad was in town and you pressured me all day to give you a time or plan.
2/10/2011 0:36 Travis Levi Taylor You're right. I shouldn't have done that. I was distracted by some other things at the time, but that's not an excuse.
2/10/2011 0:37 Travis Levi Taylor For the record, my only expectation was to have dinner.
2/10/2011 0:38 Travis Levi Taylor Coincidentally...
2/10/2011 0:38 Travis Levi Taylor when you asked me to dinner
2/10/2011 0:38 Travis Levi Taylor I was sorta seeing someone.
2/10/2011 0:40 Elexis Hennigh k
2/10/2011 0:41 Travis Levi Taylor Thank You for accepting my friend request.
2/10/2011 0:41 Travis Levi Taylor I have been kindof miserable, thinking you would never talk to me again.
2/10/2011 0:42 Elexis Hennigh there you go throwing guilt on me yet again. I didn't do anything to you.
2/10/2011 0:42 Travis Levi Taylor Oh, it wasn't your fault.
2/10/2011 0:42 Travis Levi Taylor I didn't mean to imply it.
2/10/2011 0:43 Elexis Hennigh but you sure make sure to inform me that you would have been miserable if I hadn't accepted your friend request. SRSLY. come on
2/10/2011 0:43 Travis Levi Taylor That's because I'm kindof an idiot, Lexie.
2/10/2011 0:43 Travis Levi Taylor Everybody knows I'm a genius.. but I'm also an moron.
2/10/2011 0:44 Travis Levi Taylor My stupidity isn't so obvious.
2/10/2011 0:45 Elexis Hennigh im done letting you make me feel as if I let you down in some way.
2/10/2011 0:45 Travis Levi Taylor Good!
2/10/2011 0:45 Travis Levi Taylor You shouldn't feel that way.
2/10/2011 0:46 Travis Levi Taylor That's why I was apologizing for not being more clear before...
2/10/2011 0:46 Travis Levi Taylor ...and thanking you for accepting my friend request.
2/10/2011 0:48 Travis Levi Taylor So?
2/10/2011 0:48 Travis Levi Taylor How much snow did you get?
2/10/2011 0:50 Travis Levi Taylor Nevermind... I remember you said you don't have time for small talk right now.
2/10/2011 0:50 Elexis Hennigh have a good night travis
2/10/2011 0:50 Travis Levi Taylor good night, Lexie
**************************************************************
2/13/2011 18:37 Travis Levi Taylor Lexie.
*************************************************************
1/7/2011 15:27 Travis Levi Taylor Good Morning Lexie!!
1/7/2011 15:28 Elexis Hennigh pretty good
1/7/2011 15:29 Travis Levi Taylor ;)
1/7/2011 15:30 Travis Levi Taylor Have you ever bought a lottery ticket, and had to look twice at it when they called the number?
1/7/2011 15:31 Travis Levi Taylor When you want something really bad, your eyes can play tricks on you.
1/7/2011 15:31 Elexis Hennigh lol yeah
1/7/2011 15:32 Travis Levi Taylor So. If I may ask a bold question...
1/7/2011 15:32 Elexis Hennigh ...
1/7/2011 15:32 Travis Levi Taylor am I the first man you've asked out to dinner?
1/7/2011 15:33 Elexis Hennigh what do you mean? you asked me. I'm just finally saying yes. LOL
1/7/2011 15:34 Travis Levi Taylor What did you think of the haiku?
1/7/2011 15:36 Travis Levi Taylor I do like to drive fast, you know
1/7/2011 15:36 Elexis Hennigh ah that explains it then...lol
1/7/2011 15:37 Elexis Hennigh i guess I better get up and get ready for work
1/7/2011 15:37 Travis Levi Taylor I've got to get some chinchilla food, too.
1/7/2011 15:37 Travis Levi Taylor May I call you later?
1/7/2011 15:38 Elexis Hennigh sure...I've got a lot to do today though. I have to pack to leave for LA Sunday morning :)
1/7/2011 15:41 Elexis Hennigh I'm sure we can figure something out. Maybe lunch...I might drive to my moms saturday night so she can drive me to the airport for the red eye
1/7/2011 15:42 Travis Levi Taylor Excellent! I look forward to talking with you tonight!!!
1/7/2011 15:43 Elexis Hennigh later dude!
*****************************************************************
2/9/2011 23:36 Travis Levi Taylor Good Evening Lexie...
2/9/2011 23:36 Elexis Hennigh hi
2/9/2011 23:36 Travis Levi Taylor How are you?
2/9/2011 23:36 Elexis Hennigh great
2/9/2011 23:37 Travis Levi Taylor How's the weather in Stillwater? Assuming you're in Stillwater...
2/9/2011 23:37 Elexis Hennigh aren't you?
2/9/2011 23:37 Travis Levi Taylor Nope.
2/9/2011 23:37 Elexis Hennigh y?
2/9/2011 23:37 Travis Levi Taylor Well...
2/9/2011 23:38 Travis Levi Taylor I kept getting mixed signals from OSU.
2/9/2011 23:38 Travis Levi Taylor I'm in... then I'm out. I'm in... then I'm out.
2/9/2011 23:38 Elexis Hennigh hm
2/9/2011 23:38 Travis Levi Taylor And it freaked me out.
2/9/2011 23:39 Travis Levi Taylor There's no way they know I half-assed my ACT. But they sure act like they know it! heheheh
2/9/2011 23:40 Travis Levi Taylor A lot of people tell me that I don't need to go to college.
2/9/2011 23:40 Travis Levi Taylor I disagree. I really think I need to.
2/9/2011 23:40 Travis Levi Taylor You're educated. What do you think?
2/9/2011 23:41 Elexis Hennigh I don't know...I never regret that I went for 7 years.
2/9/2011 23:42 Travis Levi Taylor Not all with OSU, though, right?
2/9/2011 23:42 Elexis Hennigh right
2/9/2011 23:42 Travis Levi Taylor Obviously, OSU's your favourite, though.
2/9/2011 23:43 Elexis Hennigh compared to what
2/9/2011 23:43 Travis Levi Taylor wherever else you went
2/9/2011 23:43 Elexis Hennigh that was a masters program...not the same.
2/9/2011 23:43 Travis Levi Taylor I seem to recall it was Texas A&M, but I don't remember for sure.
2/9/2011 23:43 Elexis Hennigh West Tx AM
2/9/2011 23:44 Elexis Hennigh mostly distance education courses
2/9/2011 23:44 Travis Levi Taylor I took some college when I was in the Navy.
2/9/2011 23:44 Travis Levi Taylor distance education?
2/9/2011 23:44 Elexis Hennigh online or mail in
2/9/2011 23:45 Travis Levi Taylor If only all of life was so convenient!
2/9/2011 23:45 Travis Levi Taylor Why did you stop teaching? I'm totally sure you are an excellent teacher.
2/9/2011 23:45 Elexis Hennigh not enough money
2/9/2011 23:46 Travis Levi Taylor I thought I would like to be an archaeologist. But it doesn't pay for itself, either. PhD's making 40k a year doesn't seem right.
2/9/2011 23:47 Travis Levi Taylor How did you get into computers?
2/9/2011 23:48 Elexis Hennigh long story
2/9/2011 23:48 Travis Levi Taylor haha... every time I hear "long story" I get curious.
2/9/2011 23:48 Travis Levi Taylor I used to know a thing or two about computers...
2/9/2011 23:49 Travis Levi Taylor Back in the 90's.
2/9/2011 23:49 Travis Levi Taylor I did something to a computer network...
2/9/2011 23:49 Travis Levi Taylor that cost the government a whole lot of money.
2/9/2011 23:50 Travis Levi Taylor And I was very, very careful about it.
2/9/2011 23:50 Travis Levi Taylor And I didn't tell a soul, either.
2/9/2011 23:50 Travis Levi Taylor But I liked it. And then one day...
2/9/2011 23:50 Travis Levi Taylor I was sitting in art class.
2/9/2011 23:51 Travis Levi Taylor And an acquaintance... not a close friend by any stretch of the imagination... comes and sits down next to me...
2/9/2011 23:51 Travis Levi Taylor and out of the blue says, "Have you seen Sneakers?" I was like, "Huh?"
2/9/2011 23:51 Travis Levi Taylor Have you seen that movie, Lexie?
2/9/2011 23:53 Elexis Hennigh sry trav you freaked me out...can't sit here and make small talk...i gotta go...
2/9/2011 23:53 Travis Levi Taylor I was just asking so you would know what I was thinking when he asked me that.
2/9/2011 23:54 Elexis Hennigh sry...i'm seeing someone and you made it clear that you were not interested in just friends...so...i feel weird pretending things are the same.
2/9/2011 23:55 Travis Levi Taylor What do you mean the same?
2/9/2011 23:56 Elexis Hennigh pretending that we are still good friends from high school...things are different now
2/9/2011 23:57 Travis Levi Taylor When you wanted to have dinner, is that all you wanted? To catch up with an old friend from High School?
2/9/2011 23:58 Elexis Hennigh yes.
2/9/2011 23:59 Travis Levi Taylor What I was trying to make clear (in the friend request I just sent you) was I don't "wanna" be friends.
2/9/2011 23:59 Travis Levi Taylor But maybe you didn't read that mssg until after we started this chat.
2/10/2011 0:00 Elexis Hennigh haven't read it at all yet...didn't notice a message.
2/10/2011 0:02 Elexis Hennigh and apparently I can't see it now
2/10/2011 0:02 Travis Levi Taylor I thought those things go into the mssg inbox?
2/10/2011 0:02 Travis Levi Taylor I can tell you what I said.
2/10/2011 0:03 Travis Levi Taylor It's a simple request... but it's not a very honest one. I don't wanna be friends. or something like that.
2/10/2011 0:04 Elexis Hennigh what
2/10/2011 0:04 Elexis Hennigh you sent me a friend request that said I don't want to be friends
2/10/2011 0:04 Elexis Hennigh ?
2/10/2011 0:04 Travis Levi Taylor I can see how that might be confusing.
2/10/2011 0:05 Elexis Hennigh once I accept the friend request it goes away and i can't get it back. If you meant to send a message send a 'message'.
2/10/2011 0:05 Travis Levi Taylor I tried that several minutes ago...
2/10/2011 0:06 Elexis Hennigh and if I accept the request from my phone I definitely don't see the attached message
2/10/2011 0:06 Travis Levi Taylor and the computer restarted while I was typing it. I honestly have no idea why.
2/10/2011 0:06 Elexis Hennigh it doesn't matter then does it. If you don't want to be friends that srsly what!
2/10/2011 0:06 Elexis Hennigh that=then
2/10/2011 0:08 Travis Levi Taylor You had it kinda right, before. Why I assumed you read the message.
2/10/2011 0:08 Travis Levi Taylor We could be friends.
2/10/2011 0:08 Travis Levi Taylor But I wouldn't be a good friend if I wasn't honest with you.
2/10/2011 0:09 Travis Levi Taylor But if you already know I'm nothing more than friend material, then that is that.
2/10/2011 0:10 Elexis Hennigh I am not looking for anyone else. I found him.
2/10/2011 0:13 Travis Levi Taylor I'm truly happy for you. Just out of curiosity... is it the same man you were sorta seeing back in December?
2/10/2011 0:13 Elexis Hennigh no
2/10/2011 0:13 Elexis Hennigh its someone that I've known for about 15 years...
2/10/2011 0:14 Travis Levi Taylor Wow.
2/10/2011 0:14 Travis Levi Taylor What took him so long??
2/10/2011 0:15 Elexis Hennigh lost touch
2/10/2011 0:15 Elexis Hennigh had no idea where each other were
2/10/2011 0:15 Travis Levi Taylor People can change a lot in 15 years.
2/10/2011 0:16 Travis Levi Taylor So, has he already asked you to marry him?
2/10/2011 0:16 Elexis Hennigh thanks for the encouragement
2/10/2011 0:17 Travis Levi Taylor encouragement?
2/10/2011 0:17 Elexis Hennigh sarcasm
2/10/2011 0:17 Travis Levi Taylor ah! haha... I love sarcasm.
2/10/2011 0:17 Travis Levi Taylor Easier to detect face to face, of course.
2/10/2011 0:18 Travis Levi Taylor If you were referring to my question as to whether or not he's already asked you to marry him, I'm sure he will.
2/10/2011 0:19 Elexis Hennigh no i was referring to your snide comment about how people change suggesting that we may not know eachother anymore.
2/10/2011 0:19 Travis Levi Taylor That's not what I meant.
2/10/2011 0:19 Elexis Hennigh right.
2/10/2011 0:19 Travis Levi Taylor Really.
2/10/2011 0:19 Travis Levi Taylor I was just thinking...
2/10/2011 0:19 Travis Levi Taylor you knew him for 15 years
2/10/2011 0:20 Travis Levi Taylor and I was curious when you knew he was the one.
2/10/2011 0:24 Elexis Hennigh When? Why does that matter? How? I've got that...I know he is the one because he can reach through the walls I've built.
2/10/2011 0:26 Travis Levi Taylor that's extraordinary
2/10/2011 0:26 Elexis Hennigh yep
2/10/2011 0:27 Travis Levi Taylor heheheh
2/10/2011 0:27 Travis Levi Taylor Out of morbid curiosity...
2/10/2011 0:27 Elexis Hennigh i don't feel you're sincere
2/10/2011 0:27 Travis Levi Taylor I have to ask...
2/10/2011 0:27 Travis Levi Taylor I was laughing in advance of the question I was about to ask you.
2/10/2011 0:28 Travis Levi Taylor I'm sincere.
2/10/2011 0:29 Travis Levi Taylor I'm still curious about how much snow you got in Stillwater...
2/10/2011 0:30 Elexis Hennigh you're right that is a funny and morbid question! how dare you!
2/10/2011 0:30 Travis Levi Taylor haha
2/10/2011 0:30 Travis Levi Taylor That's a different question than the one I was going to ask before.
2/10/2011 0:30 Travis Levi Taylor I just wanted to get back to that.
2/10/2011 0:31 Travis Levi Taylor I'm sorry I wasn't clear before.
2/10/2011 0:31 Travis Levi Taylor About dinner.
2/10/2011 0:31 Travis Levi Taylor I wanted to have dinner with you to see if we could be more than friends.
2/10/2011 0:33 Travis Levi Taylor I thought you knew that... since I only heard back from you once.
2/10/2011 0:33 Travis Levi Taylor And you told me you were sorta seeing someone. And you let me down very nicely... as you did before.
2/10/2011 0:33 Travis Levi Taylor You said it wasn't good timing.
2/10/2011 0:34 Travis Levi Taylor I thought you were just trying to be nice.
2/10/2011 0:34 Elexis Hennigh most guys don't appreciate their girl going to dinner with a new guy out of the blue no matter who they are...
2/10/2011 0:34 Travis Levi Taylor And when you asked me to dinner, I thought you wanted to see me for dinner for the same reasons I wanted to see you for dinner.
2/10/2011 0:35 Elexis Hennigh I just wanted to get out of the house. I thought it would be nice. Then you spun out of control with expectations. My dad was in town and you pressured me all day to give you a time or plan.
2/10/2011 0:36 Travis Levi Taylor You're right. I shouldn't have done that. I was distracted by some other things at the time, but that's not an excuse.
2/10/2011 0:37 Travis Levi Taylor For the record, my only expectation was to have dinner.
2/10/2011 0:38 Travis Levi Taylor Coincidentally...
2/10/2011 0:38 Travis Levi Taylor when you asked me to dinner
2/10/2011 0:38 Travis Levi Taylor I was sorta seeing someone.
2/10/2011 0:40 Elexis Hennigh k
2/10/2011 0:41 Travis Levi Taylor Thank You for accepting my friend request.
2/10/2011 0:41 Travis Levi Taylor I have been kindof miserable, thinking you would never talk to me again.
2/10/2011 0:42 Elexis Hennigh there you go throwing guilt on me yet again. I didn't do anything to you.
2/10/2011 0:42 Travis Levi Taylor Oh, it wasn't your fault.
2/10/2011 0:42 Travis Levi Taylor I didn't mean to imply it.
2/10/2011 0:43 Elexis Hennigh but you sure make sure to inform me that you would have been miserable if I hadn't accepted your friend request. SRSLY. come on
2/10/2011 0:43 Travis Levi Taylor That's because I'm kindof an idiot, Lexie.
2/10/2011 0:43 Travis Levi Taylor Everybody knows I'm a genius.. but I'm also an moron.
2/10/2011 0:44 Travis Levi Taylor My stupidity isn't so obvious.
2/10/2011 0:45 Elexis Hennigh im done letting you make me feel as if I let you down in some way.
2/10/2011 0:45 Travis Levi Taylor Good!
2/10/2011 0:45 Travis Levi Taylor You shouldn't feel that way.
2/10/2011 0:46 Travis Levi Taylor That's why I was apologizing for not being more clear before...
2/10/2011 0:46 Travis Levi Taylor ...and thanking you for accepting my friend request.
2/10/2011 0:48 Travis Levi Taylor So?
2/10/2011 0:48 Travis Levi Taylor How much snow did you get?
2/10/2011 0:50 Travis Levi Taylor Nevermind... I remember you said you don't have time for small talk right now.
2/10/2011 0:50 Elexis Hennigh have a good night travis
2/10/2011 0:50 Travis Levi Taylor good night, Lexie
**************************************************************
2/13/2011 18:37 Travis Levi Taylor Lexie.
Monday, March 7, 2011
Four Stages of Trauma Recovery
For those who judge how I have handled my trauma...
Recovering from Trauma
Not everyone who endures a traumatic experience is scarred by it; the human psyche has a tremendous capacity for recovery and even growth. Recovering from a traumatic experience requires that the painful emotions be thoroughly processed. Trauma feelings can not be repressed or forgotten. If they are not dealt with directly, the distressing feelings and troubling events replay over and over in the course of a lifetime, creating a condition known as post-traumatic stress disorder.
Whatever inner resources people need to mobilize for recovery, they still can not accomplish the task alone. Depression and trauma are disconnective disorders. They do not improve in isolation. To fix them you have to be connected to others.
Direct experience with disasters ranging from war and terrorism to hurricanes and earthquakes has taught me that there are four basic stages in recovering from a profound stress. Progression through all four stages is essential to recovery.
Stage One: Circuit-breaking
If you overload an electrical system with too much energy and too much stimulation, the circuit breaker activates and shuts everything down. The human nervous system is also an electrical system, and when it is overloaded with too much stimulation and too much danger, as in trauma, it also shuts down to just basics. People describe it as feeling numb, in shock or dead inside.
The juice turns off. Intellectually, you lose from 50 to 90 percent of brain capacity, which is why you should never make a decision when you're "in the trauma zone." Emotionally you don't feel anything. Spiritually you're disconnected, you have a spiritual crisis or it doesn't mean anything to you at all.
Physically all your systems shut down and you run on basics. What is so intriguing is that physical symptoms that were previously prominent often disappear during this time. Back pain, migraines, arthritis, even acne often clear up. Then, when recovery from trauma is complete, the physical symptoms return.
When the system starts to recover and can handle a bit more stimulation and energy—and the human system is destined to try to recover, to seek equilibrium—feelings begin to return.
Stage Two: Return of Feelings
Most people have not experienced so much primary trauma that they must see a professional counselor; they can work through their feelings by involving the people they are close to. They do it by telling their story—a hundred times. They need to talk talk talk, recount the gory details. That is the means by which they begin to dispel the feelings of distress attached to their memories.
The more that feelings can be encouraged, the better. The more you feel the more you heal.
The expression of feelings can take many forms. For most people it may be easiest to talk. But others may need to write. Or draw. However they tell their stories, the rest of us have an obligation to listen.
It is often helpful to actually revisit the scene of destruction. That allows someone who has been impacted directly to emotionally experience the event and grasp the reality of it. That direct experience can stimulate the return of feeling. Visiting the site is not for everybody, however. For some it is too disturbing. Others may need the support of loved ones to revisit the scene.
There are four broad patterns of expression of feelings that people employ in response to a crisis. Call them feeling styles. Some people consistently maintain one style; others exhibit all four styles at different times.
It is important to recognize which style of emotional expression is characteristic of your response, and which patterns your loved ones display. Each one demands a different approach.
The Trickle Effect
Feelings flow in little trickles, slow but steady. Tricklers have feelings at a low or medium level most of the time.
Hit and Run Feelings
Some people hit an emotion, experience it intensely, then find it so scary they run away from it. They avoid it and may not talk about it for days, weeks or even months. Then they hit the feeling again, it blows up and they run away from it again.
Roller Coasters
Many people go up and down emotionally. They are in touch with their feelings but their feelings are all over the place. Like a roller coaster, however, they can go very quickly through the feeling stage.
Tsunamis
Emotions come in tidal waves that are so big, comprehensive and overwhelming that those who get them feel like they're going to drown. They flail about, and then the wave recedes; they discover that they're still alive and they feel better. Tsunamis usually occur because people repress their feelings of pain.
Stage Three: Constructive Action
People need to take action and make a difference even in the smallest ways. Taking action restores a sense of control and directly counteracts the sense of powerlessness that is the identifying mark of trauma.
The ways of action are many. You can write a letter to the rescue workers. You can give blood. You can make a card for those who lost loved ones. You can hang a flag if that means something to you, or donate to the Red Cross. You can feed rescue workers or collect needed supplies for them from your community. You can take in children whose families can't reach them. You can help a person who is out of control to get more grounded during the crisis.
You do whatever you can and never assume that any gesture is too small. In a situation that is overwhelming, you don't go for the big picture. You go for what is closest to you and where you can make a difference. Constructive action might be writing about the catastrophe or creating some work of art about it. It also encompasses getting back to work so that you can contribute something.
Stage Two and Stage Three go hand in hand. To go forward you feel and you act. You can't do one or the other. Acting and feeling become an engine that propels you forward.
Stage Four: Reintegration
In the wake of crisis it is possible to learn and grow at rates 100 times faster than at any other time, because there is a door of opportunity. Growth can go at warp speed in every domain of life.
You can learn much that is deep and profound. You do this by interacting and by working together on the meaning of the difficult experience. Those who have the courage to become part of the trauma tribe, to experience and share their pain, or to help them overcome their pain, also have the opportunity to share their growth.
Everyone who goes through this process ends up better, stronger, smarter, deeper, and more connected. They would say so and everyone who comes in contact with them recognizes the change. It is like having a broken bone. If it heals properly, it is stronger in the spot where it fractured than it was before the injury.
Traumatic experiences are broken bones of the soul. If you engage in the process of recovery, you get stronger. If you don't, the bones remain porous, with permanent holes inside, and you are considerably weaker.
In this stage of recovery, you reintegrate your self and your values in a new way. You incorporate meaning in your life. You integrate deeper and more authentic ways of communicating.
People at this stage may experience a new sense of the preciousness of life, a clarification of goals and renewed commitment to them, and new understanding of the value of ties to others. But to get to stage four you have to go through the first three stages.
Recovering from Trauma
Not everyone who endures a traumatic experience is scarred by it; the human psyche has a tremendous capacity for recovery and even growth. Recovering from a traumatic experience requires that the painful emotions be thoroughly processed. Trauma feelings can not be repressed or forgotten. If they are not dealt with directly, the distressing feelings and troubling events replay over and over in the course of a lifetime, creating a condition known as post-traumatic stress disorder.
Whatever inner resources people need to mobilize for recovery, they still can not accomplish the task alone. Depression and trauma are disconnective disorders. They do not improve in isolation. To fix them you have to be connected to others.
Direct experience with disasters ranging from war and terrorism to hurricanes and earthquakes has taught me that there are four basic stages in recovering from a profound stress. Progression through all four stages is essential to recovery.
Stage One: Circuit-breaking
If you overload an electrical system with too much energy and too much stimulation, the circuit breaker activates and shuts everything down. The human nervous system is also an electrical system, and when it is overloaded with too much stimulation and too much danger, as in trauma, it also shuts down to just basics. People describe it as feeling numb, in shock or dead inside.
The juice turns off. Intellectually, you lose from 50 to 90 percent of brain capacity, which is why you should never make a decision when you're "in the trauma zone." Emotionally you don't feel anything. Spiritually you're disconnected, you have a spiritual crisis or it doesn't mean anything to you at all.
Physically all your systems shut down and you run on basics. What is so intriguing is that physical symptoms that were previously prominent often disappear during this time. Back pain, migraines, arthritis, even acne often clear up. Then, when recovery from trauma is complete, the physical symptoms return.
When the system starts to recover and can handle a bit more stimulation and energy—and the human system is destined to try to recover, to seek equilibrium—feelings begin to return.
Stage Two: Return of Feelings
Most people have not experienced so much primary trauma that they must see a professional counselor; they can work through their feelings by involving the people they are close to. They do it by telling their story—a hundred times. They need to talk talk talk, recount the gory details. That is the means by which they begin to dispel the feelings of distress attached to their memories.
The more that feelings can be encouraged, the better. The more you feel the more you heal.
The expression of feelings can take many forms. For most people it may be easiest to talk. But others may need to write. Or draw. However they tell their stories, the rest of us have an obligation to listen.
It is often helpful to actually revisit the scene of destruction. That allows someone who has been impacted directly to emotionally experience the event and grasp the reality of it. That direct experience can stimulate the return of feeling. Visiting the site is not for everybody, however. For some it is too disturbing. Others may need the support of loved ones to revisit the scene.
There are four broad patterns of expression of feelings that people employ in response to a crisis. Call them feeling styles. Some people consistently maintain one style; others exhibit all four styles at different times.
It is important to recognize which style of emotional expression is characteristic of your response, and which patterns your loved ones display. Each one demands a different approach.
The Trickle Effect
Feelings flow in little trickles, slow but steady. Tricklers have feelings at a low or medium level most of the time.
Hit and Run Feelings
Some people hit an emotion, experience it intensely, then find it so scary they run away from it. They avoid it and may not talk about it for days, weeks or even months. Then they hit the feeling again, it blows up and they run away from it again.
Roller Coasters
Many people go up and down emotionally. They are in touch with their feelings but their feelings are all over the place. Like a roller coaster, however, they can go very quickly through the feeling stage.
Tsunamis
Emotions come in tidal waves that are so big, comprehensive and overwhelming that those who get them feel like they're going to drown. They flail about, and then the wave recedes; they discover that they're still alive and they feel better. Tsunamis usually occur because people repress their feelings of pain.
Stage Three: Constructive Action
People need to take action and make a difference even in the smallest ways. Taking action restores a sense of control and directly counteracts the sense of powerlessness that is the identifying mark of trauma.
The ways of action are many. You can write a letter to the rescue workers. You can give blood. You can make a card for those who lost loved ones. You can hang a flag if that means something to you, or donate to the Red Cross. You can feed rescue workers or collect needed supplies for them from your community. You can take in children whose families can't reach them. You can help a person who is out of control to get more grounded during the crisis.
You do whatever you can and never assume that any gesture is too small. In a situation that is overwhelming, you don't go for the big picture. You go for what is closest to you and where you can make a difference. Constructive action might be writing about the catastrophe or creating some work of art about it. It also encompasses getting back to work so that you can contribute something.
Stage Two and Stage Three go hand in hand. To go forward you feel and you act. You can't do one or the other. Acting and feeling become an engine that propels you forward.
Stage Four: Reintegration
In the wake of crisis it is possible to learn and grow at rates 100 times faster than at any other time, because there is a door of opportunity. Growth can go at warp speed in every domain of life.
You can learn much that is deep and profound. You do this by interacting and by working together on the meaning of the difficult experience. Those who have the courage to become part of the trauma tribe, to experience and share their pain, or to help them overcome their pain, also have the opportunity to share their growth.
Everyone who goes through this process ends up better, stronger, smarter, deeper, and more connected. They would say so and everyone who comes in contact with them recognizes the change. It is like having a broken bone. If it heals properly, it is stronger in the spot where it fractured than it was before the injury.
Traumatic experiences are broken bones of the soul. If you engage in the process of recovery, you get stronger. If you don't, the bones remain porous, with permanent holes inside, and you are considerably weaker.
In this stage of recovery, you reintegrate your self and your values in a new way. You incorporate meaning in your life. You integrate deeper and more authentic ways of communicating.
People at this stage may experience a new sense of the preciousness of life, a clarification of goals and renewed commitment to them, and new understanding of the value of ties to others. But to get to stage four you have to go through the first three stages.
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